Awkward to confident. How my transition helped my physical, mental and emotional health. Years later I started to realize that being the awkward child would make me who I am today.

Every move you make, every choice you make, gets put in the newspaper. Small midwest town, where everyone knows everyone. Your neighbors always have a cup of sugar, and your best friends lived next door. It was amazing, you lived 5 minutes from school. You had friends. Enjoyed the little things.

If only, it were that simple. Living a life that wasn’t yours by choice can really damage you in ways, you’d never think, you’d understand. You have no worries as a child, just going to school and doing your best.

What if you; couldn’t spell correctly, had a hard time concentrating, you were the target of bullying, and someone paints the chair in art class so when you sit down your pants are full of paint. You get chased home, pushed around, and left int he dust.



Then you turn around and it’s 25 years later and all you can do is try to forget the fight you had put up. the pain as a child you went through and how it was always said that it molds you into the person you are today. Not really, or I would be bitter and mean and rude. But, yes it has influenced me on how I treat people, understand and just, in general, have empathy for others.

As we grow we see more of those little things we were taught growing up. It has nothing to do with being one gender or another, or just being there, it has to do with the person you are inside. You can’t let the dark, anger, revenge take you over. You have to show others that no matter what happens you will be standing strong one way or another.

We don’t have anything to prove to anyone but our selves. Sometimes it can be easier said than done. Growing into the person I am meant to be has been a tiring long, hellish, happy, joyful, depressing, frustrating, and just some days overwhelming. But, you’ve made it this far, you’ve made it through everything you said you couldn’t. Now you can do this.

Before it gets easy it will be awkward. It’ll be a bumpy ride to what is. And a healing one to what was. Just try to remember you’ve been worse than this. We have to stand as a support system. If we keep making waves well tip into the waters.

I am a 34 y.ear old Trans male from Minnesota. I am currently a GVII Model, Drag king, and Free Lance writer. I also am a volunteer for a search and rescue of missing people.