I am often asked by my cisgender (meaning not transgender) guy friends (yes I have those) what they can do to be better allies. What can they do to help guys like me fit and function inside of their world they created not knowing it was exclusive. Good, well-meaning, already allies, and they want to know some ways they can help me out and I see every single out of them as brothers.

My body part doesn’t stop me from being a man (binary privilege, yes) but when I go out with my friends there will always be a question of “is there a stall I can pee in?”. I’m going to be drinking beer and hanging out and playing darts and pool and what?… No stall. I’ll never agree to go to that bar again, there are plenty of places in town with stalls.

So first, thank you for accommodating that for me. Thank you for checking for me if I need you to too.

But that’s only asshole bars that say “men shouldn’t be pooping here” and take away any way for anyone to sit and pee no matter who they are…

Most bars have a stall with a door… So the next point I’m trying to make here is that even if I can sit, it’s absolutely disgusting to have to wipe a seat off of sprays of yellow dots (or worse).

Now, when I stand to pee I have to aim a funnel in the right direction to collect my flow and aim it at the bowl and I got to tell ya… I’m phenomenal at it.

No yellow dots.

You catch my drift guys. Just look at your environment before and after you leave it and make sure it didn’t get worse in between because there is no 50/50 rate for me having to sit, I’m doing janitorial work every time.