I know you’re probably wondering, “What is a TBuddy?” A TBuddy is a friend and confidante who you can access 24 hours, 7 days a week!  If you’re asking yourself why a TBuddy is necessary, the answer is quite simple.

The current attempted suicide rate among trans men is 51%

That means that over half of trans men in our community have, at one point or another, tried to take their life. I believe we need to act now to provide a support system for trans people in our communities, so I began with the trans men in mine.  After speaking with many trans men over the years, especially those who have attempted suicide, there is a common thread that surfaces over and over again.

ABANDONED.  ALONE. FORGOTTEN.  UNHEARD. UNWORTHY. NEGLECTED.  UNLOVED. DISCARDED.

These are the words that continuously come up when I speak to men who have tried to take their lives.  Two of the six reasons people commit suicide listed by Psychology Today are:

  1. Depression
  2. They’re crying out for help

Many of these men have been negatively affected by family relationships due to transitioning. They may feel unwanted due to the negative rhetoric they hear in everyday conversations, and many also face daily hardships when it comes to work and school settings.  Feelings of dysphoria can be amplified when in these settings and can exacerbate depression.

After speaking with these men daily, I decided it was time to confront the issue head on.  Another life could not be lost because these men did not feel supported.  

As a suicide attempt survivor and also a man who struggled with not having friends, I wanted to provide a service to trans men so they would not feel the same way I did.  I felt completely alone at the time and if I’d had someone I could talk to who understood and cared, things might have gone differently.

Hence, TBuddy™ 

TBuddy™ is a 24 hour, 100% free service for trans men by trans men.  We are here to uplift you and provide you with emotional support. So many times I’ve heard trans men say they don’t have anyone to talk to who understands them.  They have no one to talk to about the issues they face because those people haven’t walked in their shoes.

With TBuddy™ , you never have to feel this way again!  We are trans men and we understand because we are facing similar challenges. 

Do you have questions about coping with dysphoria?  If so, we can answer them! Are you feeling down because you’re having trouble finding a physician or surgeon?  We can not only listen to your concerns but help you find a doctor who can address your needs. Do you have amazing news you want to share but have no one to share it with?  We are here! We are excited to hear your news and celebrate your success and happiness!

We are here because we genuinely care about your well being, and our main goal is to combat suicide by providing an ongoing support system.

We also realize that not everyone wants to pick up a phone and have a conversation.  That is why we offer different avenues for you to reach us. You can speak to us by Phone, Text, Skype, or in person (in select areas).

You also have the option to speak with the same individual each time you contact us, so you can build a relationship with that person. On the other hand, if you want to get a different perspective, you are able to speak to someone different.  It all depends on your needs. 

Every man deserves to be apart of a community and deserves access to these services, and that is why this service will always be 100% free.

So, how can you get in contact with us and schedule an appointment?

Visit us at www.tbuddy.us to book an appointment.

In addition to TBuddy™ we have a weekly support group that takes place each Thursday at 7PM EST where trans men all over the world, including myself, meet up and talk about what’s going on in our lives.  We get advice from each other and provide encouragement. If you’re looking for a supportive environment with guys you will be able to call your brothers, this is the place. You can also book this appointment at www.tbuddy.us

We want you all to know that this service was formed with you in mind and we hope you utilize it! 

We want to reiterate that:

  • We are NOT a suicide hotline.  
  • We are NOT medical professionals or counselors.  
  • We ARE here to provide emotional support and educate others based on the life experiences we’ve faced while living as trans men in the community. 

Please refer to the following support lines provided by PFLAG if you are in a crisis and need immediate help: 

https://pflag.org/hotlines

Dani Barnhill-Farrell is an activist and entrepreneur. Since his transition in 2017 he has been heavily involved in the LGBTQ community. He is currently the Sr. Director of Marketing & Communications for the National Trans Visibility March which first took place in 2019. He is also the Chief Administrative Officer for Trans Solutions Consulting. Dani is passionate about helping trans men so he started two organizations, TBuddy & Trans In Color, that serve as resources to uplift and empower. TBuddy is a 24/7 support service for trans masculine individuals by trans masculine individuals and offers support through text, phone, Skype, and in person. Trans In Color is a safe space for trans masculine individuals of color. They offer weekly support groups, clothes drives, and a weekly podcasts available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. He currently resides in the Washington DC area with his spouse.